Have you ever taken a step back to observe your world and ask "What do I want to do with my life"?
I've known since I was ten that I wanted to be a marine biologist. I still did other things to keep my life busy (dancing being a big part of that), but now I find that I don't feel so certain I know where I'll be in ten years. And that's a rather scary and unfamiliar place for me to be.
It's not that I don't love what I do, but the instability of particular aspects has really forced me to evaluate the priorities in my life. Yesterday, I made a huge career decision and I'm still not sure if it was right one. Only time will tell but I'm hoping I didn't make a big mistake. Sigh.
I'm the type of person that has to have a plan. I set goals to keep me going - like the one chapter a night writing regime I've put myself on. For the most part, I achieve them because that's what makes me happy. (Sad, but true.) However, I've also worked so hard for so long, and now I'm having a really hard time seeing how that's paid off. Goals be damned.
When it comes to writing though, I know what I want. I absolutely LOVE creating stories and having them take on a life on their own when I sit down to write one thing and it spins off into this whole other element. I love my characters, love working with the cover designers, and am thrilled every time I sell a book. This is definitely a part of my life I want to continue.
So can I make my writing a career? I don't know. Would I like to? I certainly wouldn't mind having the luxury of staying home and writing all day. But I'm not there yet. So what do I do?
Keep plugging away, I guess. I can't imagine a life where I don't have some mix of science and creativity. This year, I hope to make that a little more evenly split. I have a plan (ha!) to release 2-3 books, decide what's best for my professional career, and not run myself ragged wasting time on things that won't get me there. Hopefully I can achieve this.
So I suppose this post really has nothing to do with writing...more of a self therapy/journaling session for me. I guess it's always good to evaluate where you're at,who's in your life, and what you want. Right?
And right now I want to write. So I'll finish this depressing insight into my confused mind and leave you with a picture of Eviana's world.